What are the pros and cons of nesting?

On Behalf of | Apr 29, 2020 | Divorce |


Divorce is hard enough on children without having to move out of the only home they might ever have known. You and your ex may have even thought about leaving your children in the house and taking turns moving out on certain days based upon your custody arrangement. This practice, called nesting, is growing in popularity. 

According to Psychology Today, here are some things to consider with respect to nesting. 

Why Nesting May Work for You 

The major benefit of nesting is that it gives your children more stability and structure. By not shuffling between two homes, they feel protected. Without having to remember to bring textbooks, sports equipment, musical instruments and clothing back and forth, their lives continue on in a somewhat regular fashion. While you may not want to nest permanently, it may give you a chance to make solid, long-term plans that benefit everyone in the family. 

Another major advantage of nesting is that it is very flexible. As long as you and your former spouse can agree upon the terms, you can do whatever you want. Ideally, each parent would have a separate off-site residence. However, if that is not financially possible, you may be able to turn part of your house into a distinct apartment. Or, maybe you and your ex could share an off-premises home for the times that you are not with your children. 

Why Nesting May Not Work for You 

One thing to remember about nesting is that it is not going to work for everyone. This is especially true when a divorced couple does not communicate well, since if you cannot agree on the smallest matters, you are not going to be able to nest comfortably. Many financial decisions need to be made with this arrangement. They range from small – as in are you sharing groceries and splitting the bill – to large, as in who gets to deduct the mortgage. 

And, nesting blurs the lines of your relationship. It does not give you the clean emotional break that many people need following a divorce. 


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