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Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster — here’s why

On Behalf of | Oct 6, 2021 | Divorce |

Sadly, “happily ever after” is not the reality for some marriages in New York. Divorce causes a bevy of emotions for both spouses that they may not be ready to deal with. Still, it is good to understand the six emotional stages of divorce, so you can keep these emotions in check.

Stage 1: Denial of reality

Sometimes being served with divorce papers comes as a complete surprise. But even if you knew divorce was on the horizon, once the divorce process begins it can be hard to accept the reality of the situation. This leads to denial and maybe even the idea that you can still fix your marriage.

Stage 2: Shock and panic

If you are divorcing you may act in ways that are not like you. Shock stirs up many emotions you are not ready to deal with, leading to panic and unusual behavior.

Stage 3: Conflicting emotions

Getting divorced can be an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you feel serene while the next moment you may feel sad or angry. Even if you are working with your ex to settle your divorce, you may feel hopeful one day and like a failure the next.

Stage 4: Bargaining to save your marriage

It is natural for some people to want to try to stop the divorce process and reconcile with their spouse. You may want to do anything possible to reach a point where you can save your marriage. It is important to keep this feeling that you can bargain your way out of the situation in check, so that you do not give up important rights during the divorce process.

Stage 5: Letting go of what you cannot save

Eventually you will reach the realization that your marriage is ending and that you cannot save it. You may no longer blame your ex for the failure of your marriage. You may even begin to understand how your actions led to the divorce. Letting go can free you from the negative emotions surrounding your divorce.

Stage 6: Acceptance

Acceptance means you are finally able to live your life with joy and satisfaction. Acceptance may not come until after the divorce is finalized.

You may experience these stages over a long time or in a different order. That is okay. What is important is to acknowledge and work through these emotions so you can make sound decisions during the divorce process.