Ending a marriage or relationship should not end family get togethers for events such as graduations, birthdays, funerals and weddings. These events, however, should not be treated as a high school reunion where you plan to show your former rivals how successful and happy you became so they become jealous. As the holidays approach, remember that your actions after your divorce and during these events have an impact on your children and family and how others perceive you.
A divorce, your former spouse or another individual should never prevent you from attending celebrations and other events that are important to you. Being in the same room with your former spouse or anyone else does not justify staying away from a gathering and keeping your children from attending and participating.
Any issues with your former spouse and their new family should be set aside and you should try to enjoy the event. Be polite to everyone, even if you stay for a short time.
Holding separate birthday parties, graduations and other events to keep families apart can be costly. Avoid having separate events, which can also leave friends and relatives off the guest list.
Your former spouse
Your ex-spouse also has the right to attend these events. Be civil in your conversations with your ex or soon-to-be former spouse. Do not discuss personal matters with your spouse.
You may choose to keep conversations short or restricted to an exchange of pleasantries or discussing the event. You can also decide not to speak to your former spouse. Regardless, do not attend the event looking for an argument with your spouse or anyone else.
Why you are there
You are attending the event to celebrate or commemorate a special occasion. Remain pleasant and mingle. If you feel tense, step away from the guests for a few minutes and compose yourself.
Do not attend to inflict revenge or deal with divorce issues. Your behavior should never upset other guests. Arguments and bad mood are particularly unpleasant for your children.
Do not one-up your former spouse and their significant other by bragging about your new home, job or major purchase. This mostly reveals bitterness.
Attorneys can assist you with issues that arise during your divorce. They can help you obtain a fair and reasonable decree.